The Home Birth Pages - My Story
The Hospital Experience - the start of my journey to unhindered birth
As I suffer from chronic vulvodynia, when I became pregnant at 18 years of age I just assumed I would *have* to have a hospital birth with an epidural. In fact, I wasn't even sure if I could give birth vaginally since my husband couldn't even touch me for weeks at a time during a flare up of my condition.
Doctors were in their infancy as far as treating the condition and the majority of doctors hadn't even heard of it, since it was only discovered in 1988 and it was then 1995.
My obstetrician offered me a caesarean, but I asked to give birth normally so he suggested a 'trial of labour', and said if my pain became too great, I could ask for a section. I agreed.
On the day, after a normal 42 week pregnancy and an extremely gentle labour, I came to the hospital at 5cm dilated with no pain whatsoever. The midwives commented on how well I was coping but in reality, there was nothing to cope with, I'd had worse stomach bugs than that.
However, after a series of agonizing and intrusive internal examinations that I didn't consent to, which felt as if I were being set on fire, I was crying. I tried to say no but they said I had to for the baby's safety. As a frightened teenager, I didn't have the knowledge or courage to stand up for myself, and my 21 year old husband was like a rabbit in headlights, holding my hand with an overwhelmed expression on his face.
I tried gas and air to deal with their examinations (whilst the contractions were still no bother at all) but it just made me feel dizzy and out of control so I threw the mask aside and refused to use it again. In the end I had an epidural so that I would be numb when they invaded my body with their hands without my permission.
This caused my baby's heart rate to drop and they then cut me while I was shouting 'No!' and dragged her out with forceps. As well as mutilating my already nerve damaged genitals, they cut her face with the forceps and she came out bleeding and screaming her lungs out from the brutality of it all.
I was stitched up like a turkey and sent to the ward. All the NHS information and baby magazines had told me that an episiotomy scar would be 'sore'. I consider that they were lying.
It was AGONY. I have had operations in my life, including major surgery, I have worn hip spikers, I've had migraines so debilitating that I have fainted, and since that time I've also had completely natural drug free childbirth, and I can tell you, NOTHING in my life has been as painful as the episiotomy. I felt as if someone had chopped my leg off. I couldn't breathe for the firey pain, couldn't sit, couldn't even turn over in bed because if the mattress moved, I'd scream from the pain.
I couldn't hold my baby for any length of time as the pain was so exhausting that I wasn't able to sit. Consequently I couldn't breast feed. The midwives tried to get me up and walking and it took half an hour for me to shuffle from one end of the ward to the other, in tears the whole time.
I begged for pain relief but all the staff would offer me was paracetamol. That's like giving someone an asprin for open heart surgery. I wanted morphine, and lots of it.
No one would help me or even question it, and when they discharged me 3 days later and I had to leave in a wheelchair because I couldn't walk, and I couldn't put my shoes on because I couldn't bend over for the pain, they didn't even say anything.
At home, I tried to care for the baby but couldn't because the pain was so all consuming, so I took to the bath, the only place I found any relief. Hot baths helped a little, so I'd lie in the bath and when the water got cold I'd top it up again. If I got out of the bath the pain would become unbearable again so I stayed in the bath for hours.
Once I tried to go to the kitchen to make my baby a bottle, since I was in too much pain to breast feed, and I couldn't walk the few steps down the hall, and collapsed in tears. My poor husband had to care for both of us.
People said this agonizing pain would go in a few days, but instead it was getting worse. I became feverish and lost all my apetite. Having lost all interest in food, I lay in the bath or on the sofa and just slept.
It was when I started sleeping more than waking that my husband called the midwife. She said my wound was 'nasty', was infected and not only that, the infection had spread to my womb. She told him it was lucky he'd called her when he did, or I could have died from sepsis.
The GP visited my home and gave me several powerful antibiotics and the painkiller codeine. Finally someone was taking my pain seriously and giving me something stronger. After a few more days in a drug induced haze, my pain reduced and I was able to participate in caring for my baby.
When she was 10 days old, I was able to walk a few steps with only an ache and after about 3 weeks I was able to have a relatively normal life, however, the pain never went away completely.
I had additional problems with painful sex for 2 years after her birth, caused by the scar tissue. My daughter is now 16 years old and the scar still stings on and off. I can't sit on hard chairs for very long, can't touch the actual scar, find it difficult wearing jeans in case they rub, and I have to be careful with intercourse.
One day it started hurting as if it was newly done ( that was after 12 years!) and I missed my favourite TV programmes because I was sitting in a bucket of hot water and herbal remedy all night. As you can imagine, I was not impressed at being lied to by the doctors and the baby magazines.
I have been to the gynaecologist. He doesn't know what to do about it. I've mentioned it to the GP and the midwife. Their suggestion?
LET'S CUT YOU AGAIN, WE DIDN'T DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
Not on your life. Needless to say, I walked out in disgust.
Welcome To Vaccine Awareness Network
Updated 10 May 2013
Vaccines And How They Are Made
The chemicals that go into vaccination - newly updated 13 June 2012
Your Immune System, How It Works And How Vaccines Damage It
Vaccines and Immune Dysfunction - updated 28 February 2013
The Herd Immunity Theory - Treating Our Children Like Cattle
The Herd Immunity Theory - updated 28 February 2013
Did Vaccines Really Halt Killer Diseases?
Did Vaccines Really Stop Diseases? A look at history - updated 10 April 2010 with modern day victim of smallpox vaccine
Vaccination And Abortion
The Use Of Foetal Tissue in Vaccines - newly updated 15 March 2012
RU-486 Abortion Killing Pill
Abortion Pill That Kills the Mother Too - NEW page!
Vaccines: A Religious Contention
Vaccines: A Religious Contention - updated 17 December 2009
Mandating Vaccines Or Not?
Mandating Vaccines or Not? My speech to Nuffield Bio Ethics on the pitfalls of mandating vaccination - includes link to vaccinationchoice.org - updated 8 February 2009
Pediacel 5-in-1 Super Jab
5 in 1 vaccine - updated 26 August 2012.
Manufacturer's Information About Pediacel 5-in-1 Vaccine
Autism and Cerebral Palsy From DPT Vaccine
Maryamber's Story - and other Cerebral Palsy after Vaccination Cases, updated 13 April 2010
Gardasil and Cervarix - The Cervical Cancer Vaccines
Gardasil and Cervarix - The Cervical Cancer Vaccine - now updated 31 March 2010 - Spain Withdraws Batch Of HPV Vaccine
Gardasil Vaccines Continued
Gardasil Vaccine Continued And Cases Of Gardasil/Cervarix Damage And Death, updated 10 May 2013
Prevnar and Pneumonia Vaccinations, including info on PCV 13, updated 3 February 2012
Travel Vaccines - updated 14 June 2012
Tetanus Vaccine - updated 6 May 2012
MMR, Single Vaccines And MMRV Vaccine
MMR and Single Measles, Mumps and Rubella vaccines and MMRV information - updated 10 May 2013 - NEW COURT RULING SHOWING MMR CAUSED ASD! Contains Graphic Damage Photo.
Killer Measles Vaccine Is Withdrawn And Other Vaccine Death Cases
Four Babies Killed In Measles Vaccine Campaign - updated 26 August 2012 with more deaths, PAGE FULL.
Infant Vaccines Produce Autism Symptoms In Primates
Shots Cause Autism In Monkeys
If You Don't Want The MMR We'll Force You and Other Vaccination Force Stories
Bully Boy Tactics Proposed - includes case of forced vaccination with various vaccines, updated 10 May 2013
Meningitis C Vaccine
Various articles and citations - updated 30 August 2012
Hepatitis B Vaccine...aluminium....thimerosal (mercury)....yeast...but don't worry, it's gluten free!
Hep B Manufacturer's Information - updated with details of court admitted MS and Death Caused By Hep B Vaccine, updated 18 November 2012
Hepatitis B Vaccine Kills Baby and other Vaccine Death Cases
Updated 10 May 2013
Vaccine Companies Investigated For Manslaughter and other Vaccine Court Cases
And Other Vaccine Companies/Doctors On Trial For Vaccine Deaths, Injuries and Fraud - Updated 21 February 2013, now including Investigations into Swine Flu Scam
Iatrogenic Child Abuse
Iatrogenic child abuse: vaccinations and other medical abuse of children by doctors
Bullying, Rude and Discriminatory Doctors who Forget Vaccines are a CHOICE
Updated 10 May 2013
My Fight For Health After Vaccination
A Vaccine Damage Case - updated 6 March 2012 to include my friend's and relatives vaccine damage cases
Vaccine Injury Photos From The CDC
WARNING! Very Graphic Vaccine Damage Pictures. Don't Look If Easily Upset - updated 21 August 2011
Vaccine Debate Page
A Place Where You Can Send Your Views On Vaccines And Health - updated 21 August 2011
Vaccination And Your Legal Rights
Your Legal Right To Own Your Own Body - updated 16 August 2009 with new information
Vaccination DESTROYS Natural Immunity!
Transplacental and Breast Milk Immunity and How they are Diminished by Vaccination - new page 10 May 2013
Disease Killing Properties Of Breast Milk
Immunising Your Baby With Breast Milk - updated 18 June 2012
Polio: The Disease, the Vaccine and the Controversies
NEW Page - updated 26 August 2012
Unvaccinated Bundles of Joy! - updated 8 May 2013
The Home Birth Pages - My Story
The Hospital Birth Experience
The Home Birth Pages
My Unassisted Childbirth - Reclaiming My Femininity - updated 17 May 2012
The Home Birth Pages - British Maternity Care (The Bullying I got When Pregnant with Yanny)
My Struggle To Have A Natural Pregnancy With The NHS - updated 5 May 2012
The Home Birth Pages - Yanny's Unhindered Home Birth
My Baby's Unhindered Home Birth - updated 6 May 2012
Home Birth And Your Legal Rights. How To Have A Natural Birth
Your Right To Birth Without Violence And Other Home Birth Issues - updated 17 May 2012
THE DANGERS OF EPISIOTOMY
And Tips For Easing Pain. Updated 6 May 2012
Obstetric Myths and Realities
Caesareans and Breech Births - updated 17 May 2010
Vaccine Information For Pregnant Women
What You Should Know If Considering A Vaccination During Pregnancy - updated 7 October 2012 - ALERT: MISCARRIAGES AND STILLBIRTHS AFTER H1N1 VACCINE!!
Home Education Photo Diary
Photo Diary of Child Friendly Home Schooling - updated 7 August 2009 - PAGE FULL, WILL ADD NEW ONE LATER.
Home Education Photo Diary
Page two of my children's home schooling - updated 10 February 2013
Home Education And Your Legal Rights
Updated 3 March 2012.
Other People's Breast Milk
VAN UK'S Founder On 'Other People's Breast Milk' and Comments Regarding The Show
Dangers Of Formula Milk
Formula Milk Is NOT As Good As Breast Milk And Is Not A Breast Milk Substitute! Updated 14 June 2012
Vitamin K: Does Your Baby Really Need It?
Updated 6 May 2012
Mercury Free Vaccines Still Have Mercury In Them
What's Not On The Label
VS. Medical Evidence - updated 28 February 2013
Pro-Vaccine Arguments Page 2
VS. Medical Evidence - NEW page completed on 25th August 2012
The spreading of viruses and bacteria via vaccination. Includes Information on the symptoms and treatment of measles. Updated 17 July 2012
Why I Don't Vaccinate My Children
And The Birth of VAN UK - updated 26 August 2012
Six Reasons Why I Don't Vaccinate My Children
Some of the reasons I don't vaccinate, from my blog, 7th October 2012
Vaccines And Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
The Link Between Vaccines And SIDS - updated 22 July 2012
Midwives And Health Professionals Against Vaccination
Updated 30 August 2012
Media Censorship of Vaccine News
Updated 2 June 2012.
Vaccine Victim's Dad Refuses To Bury Him After 21 Years
Couragious Dad Refuses To Allow A Definition Of SIDS On His Son's Death Certificate
BCG vaccine information - new page 4 August 2012
Updated 7 October 2012
Doctor Says Vaccines Cause Micro Vascular Strokes In Babies and Children
A conventional doctor links vaccines with strokes, SIDS, Autism and other illnesses - updated 19 October 2010
Boy Partially Losses Hearing After Vaccination
Updated 22nd August 2012 with more deafness and blindness after MMR cases
Delaying Vaccination Cuts Asthma Risk (and Other Allergies Related to Vaccines).
Citation in the Journal of Allergy And Clinical Immunology and Info on Vaccines and Auto-Immunity - 2 August 2012
Vaccines, Mercury, Aluminium and Autism Studies
With link to http://www.mercurymadness.org. Manufacturer's Say Vaccines Cause Autism! - updated 28 February 2013
Contraindications (people who shouldn't be vaccinated) and side-effects From The Merck Manual (vaccine manufacturer)
Medical Information On Who Should Not Have Vaccines - Merck and GP Notebook - updated 6 September 2009
Updated 28 February 2013
Swine Flu Epidemic/ H1N1 Vaccine Deaths and Injuries
Created By Lab Blunder - now recording deaths and injuries from jab - page now full.
Swine Flu Vaccine
Ingredients and other information - updated 10 October 2011
What You Should Know About Tamiflu - updated 22 January 2010
More Educated Mothers Are Less Likely To Vaccinate
A New Study Shows That University Educated Mums Are More Likely To Refuse Vaccines And Other Studies Showing Educated Mothers Refusing Vaccines - updated 21 February 2013
Diseases In The Vaccinated
Medical Studies And Reports Showing Vaccines Do Not Immunise - Updated 25 April 2009
Diseases In The Vaccinated Page 2
Diseases in the Vaccinated - Page 3
Vaccine 'Preventable' Diseases Occuring in the Vaccinated - NEW PAGE. 11 May 2013
Seven School Kids Taken To Hospital After Vaccines and Other Vaccine Disasters
Kids sicken after DT/IPV Vaccines - and other reactions after vaccination drives, updated 21 February 2013
Acute disseminated encephalomyelitis after vaccination caused girl to have one and a half hour seizure
And other encephalitis after vaccination, updated 17 October 2009
Infant Mortality Rates Fall Where 'Immunisation' Rates Are Low
Infant Mortality Rates Fall In Line With Lowering Vaccination Rates - updated 31 January 2013
Chickenpox: Is It Really A Killer Disease?
Suddenly this benign childhood illness has turned into a 'deadly killer' because they are introducing a vaccine - updated 31 January 2013
If You Decide To Vaccinate - updated 30 January 2013
Vaccine Damage Payments Unit
How To Make A Claim For Compensation If Your Loved One Is Vaccine Injured - updated 23 March 2009
Healing From Vaccine Damage
A Case Study Using Homeopathy to Detox from Vaccines - page created 6 May 2009.
Legal Help For Vaccine Damage And Pro-Choice Issues
Solicitor/Lawyer Information - updated 2 June 2012
Treating Childhood Illnesses
These days, doctors and parents have lost the art of actually nursing their child through a normal childhood illness. Here we tell you the symptoms and treatment of measles, mumps, rubella, chickenpox, rotavirus and whooping cough - updated 15 June 2012
Childhood Diseases Can Be Good For Your Child!
Studies showing childhood diseases reduce autoimmunity - updated 21 November 2010
Stupid Medical Advice Which Has Been Consigned To History Books
Updated 12 April 2012
Double Standards - it's not okay to ingest this but fine if we inject it
Authorities Admitting Concern Over Chemicals Used In Other Products That Are Also Used In Vaccines - updated 30 January 2013
A page dedicated to a little boy who died of an adverse reaction to Hepatitis B vaccine. WARNING: graphic vaccine damage picture
The Dangers of Animal Vaccines and naturally rearing animals - updated 27 September 2012
Remember My Name
Honouring Those Who Have Died From Vaccination - updated 15 April 2012
Remember My Name - Page 2
Honouring Those Who Have Died From Vaccination - Page 2, updated 28 February 2013
Vaccines, BSE and vCJD
In Memory of Andy Black - WARNING, GRAPHIC PHOTOS, DON'T LOOK IF EASILY UPSET - updated 2 August 2012
Vaccination: An Ecological Disaster
Environmental Reasons Why Vaccines Aren't so Great. 2% of World HIV Cases Caused By Vaccines. NEW PAGE.
How Studies are 'Doctored' to Make Vaccines Seem More Effective - NEW page! updated 8 August 2012
Under 18's Page - Know Your Vaccination Rights - Updated 25 June 2012
Take Vaccines Out of Schools Campaign!
Example letters you can use to complain about the use of vaccination in schools - updated 23 June 2012
Vaccines Didn't Save Us From Smallpox
Historical Evidence Against Vaccination and Historical Vaccine Death Cases
Jo's Home Education Resource Page
Home Educated Kids are Rarely at Home! - updated 3 June 2012
A Parent's Guide for Pro-Vaccine Pediatricians
NEW PAGE - Countering Pro-Vaccine Arguments, 30th April 2012
Rotavirus Vaccine Planned for UK Babies Next Year
Paracetamol (Acetaminophen), Ibuprofen and Vaccines
VAN UK Shop - updated 12 September 2009
Donate To VAN UK to Keep This Website Running!
Donate To VAN UK to Keep This Website Running!
Letters To VAN UK
About vaccination and it's affects - updated 25 June 2012
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